Adolescent Musings


Sometimes there’s this strange sense of familiarity in being ordered around – in being told what to do. Reminds you of school or when you were a kid – when everything was simple and you weren’t responsible for your actions. The person ordering you was.
As an adult it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting that. Of having someone else to take responsibility in your stead. Being ordered makes you feel as if you have found it but it’s only in flashes that you realise that you’re no longer a child and have to learn to say you want something different. That someone else can no longer make decisions for you because it’s you who have to live with the consequences. The decisions could be as simple as choosing what to wear and who to be friends with. But they should be yours.
That’s a really important part of being a grownup. Knowing when to say what you want and knowing when to say no.

Karachi, on guard


Ayesha Salman grew up listening to tales of her parents’ childhood – of them cycling to the nearest shops to get baked goodies and playing cricket on the streets with the neighbourhood kids. Her parents grew up at a time when words like ‘terrorism’ and ‘suicide blasts’ were not in one’s daily dictionary. But a great deal has changed since then, and Ayesha is well aware of the harsh reality that her life and that of her children could never be the same.

Karachi, which was labelled as the world’s most dangerous mega city by a US magazine Foreign Policy for its high rate of homicide, may pose extraordinary challenges to its citizens looking for security, but from self-defence training to installing safety checks, it’s also fast coming up with ways to address them. However, one thing’s for sure complacency has long stopped being the answer.

Life in the country’s financial hub now has transitioned to employing private guards, installing security systems and coping desperately with rising inflation just to make ends meet. How did we end up in such a situation?

“It starts from recurring news reports of street crimes – you hear of a relative or of a friend whose mobile was snatched and you get scared. As the frequency of the stories increase, you begin to flinch each time someone on a motorbike passes by your vehicle,” says Ayesha Salman, a resident of Defence Phase VIII.

Sadly, citizens of Karachi have lost the sense of security they were accustomed to till a decade ago. The small things people took for granted, such as walking down the street without fearing for one’s life or valuables is now a distant memory.

“It is a growing fear that something might happen to you if you don’t take necessary precautions,” Ayesha adds.

Dressed in uniform or plain shalwar kameezchowkidars stand on duty at many houses in Karachi. Earning anywhere between Rs10,000 to Rs20,000 the presence of a chowkidar is expected to serve as a deterrent to possible break-ins.

In many cases the chowkidars are none other than the relatives of housemaids or are drivers who are given the additional responsibility of serving as guards. Meanwhile, there are others who prefer hiring private guards but some people remain sceptical of their usefulness.

“Employing guards certainly gives one some peace of mind but stories of crimes committed by armed guards continue to haunt as well,” Ayesha says. “In such cases, it also becomes necessary to stay vigilant about the people you employ for security.”

Chief executive officer of Aftershock CEM, a freelance security consultancy, Naveed Khan agrees with the need for people to be vigilant about their safety. While people are spending, and in some cases significant amounts of money, on security they are not going about in the right manner, Khan warns.

Khan, who has assisted various multinational organisations with a crisis management programme, says he has yet to meet a trained security guard for a private or corporate security firm.

“If people were serious about safety checks, they should inquire about prior training and experience of a security guard before employing him but that doesn’t happen,” he says.

“Even corporate clients who pay as much as Rs18,000 to Rs 25,000 don’t make an effort to find out if the guards have had ample training. They just want to get the guy as long as he is in uniform and has a weapon,” Khan explains. After a brief pause he adds, “If he (security guard) looks scary, that’s a bonus.”

However, Khan may be a bit simplistic in his definition as security officer at Aqsa Security Guards Mohammad Asghar explains. “There are procedures in place before recruiting guards such as verifying their CNIC details,” he says adding, “Their information is corroborated by two witnesses and someone physically visits the address they provide to make sure everything checks out.

Speaking about guards’ training he says, “They are trained to handle a weapon once they are employed and most of their other training revolves around tackling various situations depending on whether they arise at home or on the street.” At this point Aqsa Security Guards does not provide their employed guards any training on first aid.

According to Khan, security in Pakistan is a ‘numbers game’. Security companies are ranked not by the services they provide but by the amount of manpower they employ, he claims. “Basically a company that employs more guards will be ranked higher,” he says.

Additionally basic life security and lifesaving skills are also found lacking. These include first aid, victim transportation, patrolling, reporting, conflict management and resolution and marksmanship.

Another popular precaution taken by individuals and businesses is setting up security systems. Installing panic buttons, motion detectors and round-the-clock monitoring by security firms are among the most common services.

When deciding between employing a guard or installing a security system what do people prefer? Ayesha relies on both a home security system, as well as the services of an unarmed guard and says, “Installing a home security system sometimes is much cheaper than employing guards and also allows you to feel more secure.”

Meanwhile, the Farooqi family residing in North Nazimabad feel that though a security system sounds more reliable they prefer hiring the services of a guard.

“People residing in houses instead of apartments might be prone to install a security system. But in our apartment building families prefer to hire a guard to oversee the neighbourhood and we collectively pay the guard’s salary,” says Ahsan Farooqi.

Residing in Soldier Bazaar, Zeeshan Ali feels differently. “Seeing guards everywhere is terrorising in itself. I prefer installing a security system which is less frightening and more efficient.”

Meanwhile, there are also some companies who exclusively deal with ‘security fencing’. While there is debate on this service being more effective, home owners and small businesses continue to largely rely on the services of security guards.

Saad Amanullah Khan owns a fast food joint, Big Thick Burgerz (BTB), in Defence says, “There is no proper way to handle the security challenges that exist today.” He strongly believes the only permanent solution is for the government to address the security concerns of the city and take concrete remedial measures.

Small business owners can mitigate some precautionary measures but all these efforts can be easily compromised, Saad Khan explains. Further, even if they do prove effective they end up significantly increasing the over heads.

“The cost of doing business in Pakistan is going up by the day,” Saad Khan says. “It is worse for SMEs and start up business owners, as they are already working with limited resources.” The opportunity cost for businesses remains high as the deteriorating security situation affects them from various directions. People avoid going out now and delivery staff are often robbed, on the other hand during strikes businesses shut down early or for an entire day which also disrupts the supply chain.

While a fool proof method to ensure security is yet to be devised, some organisations are offering self-defence classes. Specialised classes for women to deal with gender-based crimes such as sexual harassment are also available.

Published in Dawn on February 5, 2013.

Mafia Wars


I woke up to my cellphone’s call for attention – the occasional ping of a social media website that sends a shiver of excitement down anyone’s spine each time it’s heard, only to often end up being an invite from a food group that they had forgotten to unlike.

With partly open eyes and a mind still clouded with the last night’s episode of Game of Thrones, I clamored to find the phone from under my pillow – my hands reaching out as if a drowning man calling for help – frantic and all over the place.

“Fauzia Arif,” the notification read, “has completed 56 levels of Candy Crush. Post on her wall to congratulate her.”

“How difficult is it to have a life these days?” I questioned angrily before, logging in to Sims Freeplay to check if my Sim was well-hydrated after the hours of virtual gardening I had put it through.

Now that I was finally up and getting my daily installment off the newsfeed, I scrolled down to spot familiar faces doing things that I only wished I could.

Sofia “Princess” Mir, the first update read: Just got updated to an iPhone 5, thanks to my hubby to be <3.

This was my friend from school who I had lost touch over the years and what remained of her memory were just the ugly bits that still stung like an evil bee. The status, as if spiraling me back to that time had me wanting to reply, but I couldn’t just comment on her status. That would just prove that she had my attention, which she didn’t of course.

I decided to update a status of my own.

“How cute. People are just beginning to get an iPhone 5. Steve Jobs is dead, folks!” I wrote.

And just as I was thinking my passive aggressive rant was done with, a new notification checked my smile that hadn’t fully appeared on my sleepy face.

“Don’t compare yourself to me. I’m someone they couldn’t even dare to be.”

“Whoa! Who is comparing who? Wait, where is that picture of Ali with that goofy smile of his where everyone thinks he resembles a deer?” I thought immediately scanning my desktop for saved pictures from yesteryears.

I had posted of photo of Ali and I at our best. The caption read, hubby already. It was the only picture of him where he hadn’t lost those few extra strands of hair covering his forehead and when his smile was just a genuine show of good countenance and not a silent question of “What’s for dinner?”.

The photo even though misleading was gold. Contented, I thought this would shut her bitch fit up but here’s the thing about social media: You can never be too sure – about anything.

And sure enough, a new status update from Sophia had followed: “I pity my friend who ended up with someone who has such an ugly face.”

My head was now reeling. I felt betrayed, backstabbed, insulted – all at once. This person, who had more asterisks in her name than my computer password was actually having fun at the expense of me? Me? Who had always scored the highest, got the better job, gotten the guy and had real friends for a change.  Who does she think she was?

My mental blabbering was interrupted by another ping from my cell phone.

“What? Is she not even going to wait for her turn now?”

It was a notification from my high school’s principal who thought tagging both of us in a status would be akin to calling us in to the principal’s room. She had proceeded to give us an online scolding – caps lock and all and said something about how our failed attempts at trolling still gave her nightmares.

If our online spat with each other wasn’t embarrassing enough – well, it wasn’t quite embarrassing, I am known to be more challenging on Facebook, that tagged status took the cake.

I quietly switched my phone off, pretended the online me was going on a hiatus and proceeded to tend to my real life responsibilities – the first of which included me getting out of the bed.

(This was done as part of a creative writing course at SZABIST)

 

 

Part of the problem


feminism

A lot of women have internalized gender discrimination. Tell them that they deserve more and you will be met with shocked eyes – tell them their daughters deserve better and they will shoo you away. What with all the blogs and articles on feminism pointing out how it is the men who perpetrate sexual discrimination, I’d like to say that I have seen more women who do.

“Are you insane? Girls don’t play sports.”

“It’s in a sign of religious devotion for women to work in the kitchen even if they lose the skins on their hands.”

“Using a woman’s money to pay for utility bills takes away the barkat from the house.”

“Don’t raise your voice in front of the men in the family.”

“Just get married.”

“What was she wearing? She was clearly looking for attention” [When news about sexual assaults appears]

These are all the things that I have heard friends’ moms and female relatives say – not just the men.

While it’s true that the kind of family you’re brought up in is different for everyone, I think it’s unfair that it’s only the men who are assumed to be sole perpetrator of sexism. If it was a first-person account I’d say my dad has never disallowed me from studying (I have quite a knack for going the extra mile), or working (At one point, I was working at two places), I have never heard male colleagues or classmates ever discriminate against me because of my gender. In fact, I have seen more men being vocal about crimes against women. I have seen them drive women around to help them out with assignments, household chores – just because of the fact that they are men and have internalized the fact that they are supposed to be facilitators in certain situations.

Even when certain households have men that are clearly domineering and have “rules” about who gets to do what, I have not seen a lot of women questioning the “status-quo”. Challenging, arguing or asking for a reason are practices that are looked down upon. Even when women are presented with outlets or opportunities to take their rights, they feel it’s inappropriate to accept it. Several take discrimination matter-of-factly with “this-is-how-it’s-supposed-to-be” kind of an attitude.

The womankind have been struggling to get gender equality for years and to be honest, there is so much “talk” about it that I’m afraid it’s not taken as seriously as it should. But why are so many people just talk and nothing more? Why is it that we have been unable to get what we want? Equality is not something that can be handed over on a single platter and yet, what is it that’s stopping us from attaining it?

In my opinion, part of the problem lies in identifying who perpetrates the gender inequality that exists. Just because it’s rights of the women that we are asking for doesn’t mean every women has worked to get it – a lot of women in our society are actively involved in fostering environments where their daughters, nieces and so on won’t feel comfortable asking for it at all.

This is not supposed to be a blog bashing women – I have heard a number of feminists say that that’s the last thing we need.  I just think that under the “woman deserve equality” banner, a lot of women who are actually contributing the problem are given a free pass, while men, regardless of their views on the topic are termed as the enemies.

As mothers, mothers-in-law, aunts, teachers, or any other influential role women play in society, if they are perpetrating women inequality in their own ways, they should also be called out as part of the problem- I think it’s only fair.